On Getting Older
“If you aren’t getting older, you are dead” is a quote I try to think on as I lament the aches and pains and ever-growing responsibilities of aging. But this post isn’t on aging; it is on getting older. And there is a difference.
When I was a child, I used to hate the concept of “getting older” in the oddest of ways. One poignant example: I would watch my parents taking joy in my athletic endeavors and think, “How sad that must be?” I kept thinking I never wanted to get to an age where I didn’t take satisfaction in what I did.
How times change. At some point you trade, or you ideally trade, personal and often fleeting/short-lived happiness for longer, more lasting meaning. And much of that meaning comes from the people close to you succeeding, growing, having their own happiness. Seeing them happy. Just as my parents found joy in watching me find happiness in my own child-like ways.
I read the following this morning and wanted to share; it is much better worded than anything I could conclude with. But I can relate. My teens, my 20s, were about fun. “What can I do today to have a good time” was at the forefront of my mind on most days. But almost every decision I make now is about creating meaning and a meaningful life: “What can I do to add meaning to my life, to be around people who bring meaning to me, and to share with others these growth moments?” I’m as lucky as someone could be, because I’m still just as happy. It’s just a different kind of happiness, one that does involve mostly others. And I’m quite fine with that.
I was sitting at a casino bar in Vegas, counting down the last few minutes of being in my 20s. My girlfriend was wiped out from the day’s activities and was asleep in our hotel room.
No part of me wanted to leave my 20s, so I was just sitting there nursing a beer, reflecting back on all the fun I had the past 10 years, and thinking it was all going down hill from there.
Once my phone showed midnight, I grabbed a shot of my favorite liquor, did a half-hearted salute to my 20s, drank it, and went upstairs to grab some sleep.
And that’s how I spent my 30th birthday. Romping around Vegas, pretending to be happy.
I know that sounds super dramatic. Trust me, I realized how dramatic I was being at the time too, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that my best years were now behind me.
I’m 34 now, and I’ve accomplished significantly more in the last 4 years than I ever did in my 20s.
I married the girl who was with me in Vegas.
I kicked my alcohol dependency.
We remodeled our first house, sold it, and made a substantial amount of money from the sale.
We bought a house we’re super proud of in the neighborhood we knew we wanted to be in.
I took over part ownership of the company I plan to retire with.
We had our first child.
I quit smoking.
And in 12 days, I’ll be signing the papers on my first commercial building purchase.
Besides buying my first house, all I did in my 20s was travel a bit and make a lot of bad decisions. When I look back on my 20s now, all I think is, “I could have accomplished so much more if I would have just applied myself and left the party life sooner.”
Don’t get me wrong, this is not some generic LinkedIn “how to be successful” bullshit. I realize not everyone has the same opportunities in life that I’ve had.
But if I could give you any advice, it would be to let go of your 20s. Appreciate those years for what they were, but use your 30s to clean up the mistakes you’ve made over the past decade.
Source: Robert Puckett, Quora