The Hardest Part of Life
The hardest part of life isn’t pushing yourself beyond your perceived limits — of which we all are so unbelievably capable. It isn’t bettering yourself as a person: helping others with acts of kindness, learning, growing, being the healthiest version of yourself. Being a better partner, friend, neighbor, and stranger. Quitting a vice. All of these things take commitment, for certain. They take time and do not happen from sheer motivation but a lifetime of dedication. Yet they are all within our ability. Mine. Yours. All of us are given the gift of being better versions of ourselves. Which is why they are also not the hardest part of life.
The hardest part of life is that one day is that one day we will no longer have the ability to do any of the things mentioned above. That is the hardest part of life. It is one of the few absolute truth I know of.
“He who jumps into the void owes no explanation to those who stand and watch.” –Jean-Luc Goddard
This is why I share the above quote, which I am quite fond of. There are two versions of me. One, when I am most liberated, jumps into the void. I do it without worry of repercussion because I think to myself, “If not now, when?” I once drove through a 3 AM blizzard for 160 miles to jump on a 7 AM flight to fly across the country to see someone, because they mattered a great deal to me and I wanted to tell them that. That’s me jumping directly into the void. I don’t regret the drive or lack of sleep or ticket cost. I got to spend 45 minutes with someone great, and I went back home with incredible inner peace in the moment. There’s a second version of me that will hide behind others and stand and watch. I loathe that version, and when I see it coming, or see it post-happening, I try my best to learn from it. What I have learned are two things:
I can’t think of a time I have regretted jumping into the void — so long as the void means it is a better me. No matter how vulnerable it can make me in the moment, I have never regretted it.
There’s another quote the first, better version of me has learned to embrace: “And every shooting star is proof. Falling can be beautiful if you give it all you've got.” –Alicia Green
My lesson to myself has been to fall into the void. Embrace it. There is no downside to doing anything worthwhile, proactive, helpful, or healthy today. Even if it doesn’t turn out the way you wanted — you tried while you still could. Because the day will come when you can no longer shoot across the sky.
Life is short. If you commit to your dreams and aspirations now, think about how amazing it will all be during the ride, and how triumphant and wonderful it will be when you do reach that moment — when you get to look back and say, “I did it the right way. I tried” Because if you think about it, the wonderful irony, then, may very well be someday it becomes, “The hardest part of life is that I now have so few hard parts left to embrace.” And that, to me, means a life well-lived.