The Terminus of Gravity’s Rainbow
What if you could predict the endpoint days of your life? Or at least, what you would regret, how you would be living?
“I anticipate the terminus of gravity’s rainbow,” said Daniel Craig in the 2019 movie Knives Out. Which, for almost all of us, needs some explanation. Gravity’s Rainbow was a 1973 book that was written to take place in Europe during WWII. German V-2 rockets would pummel cities, thus if you could determine their endpoint (terminus) you could shelter from them.
If you knew you were at your terminus, you would be living how you wish you had lived. Maybe not your own terminus, but your arc. For the last several months, I have been collecting words shared by people who are nearing the endpoint of some kind of arc. People who have hit retirement, or are looking back at their lives and have set new goals, new paces. As I read each, which I will share below, I kept thinking: “Why wait?” Why be 68 and decide now is the time to slow life down? So, whether you are 22 or 62, or any age — you don’t have to anticipate the terminus of your life. You can design it. Here are some wonderful blueprints.
Pam Payne answering the question, “Is life easier after 65?”
For me, it’s easier, and it’s harder. Easier in that I don’t have kids at home to deal with and my schedule is pretty much whatever I want it to be. The only thing I have to do every day is cook for my husband. Since he only eats once a day, that’s not a big deal. Normal responsibilities like bill paying, grocery shopping, house cleaning are pretty much unchanged. My health is still good other than a pesky thyroid problem, but I’ve had that most of my life—just finally got diagnosed 3 years ago.
The hard part is taking a huge income hit. I had to quit working when I went through a thyroid storm at age 62. For a few months, my brain was so scrambled that I struggled to follow a simple recipe. Hard to work when you can’t think. I’ve tried to find a job since then, but at my age, no one would hire me. So our retirement income is far less than I’d planned and I didn’t get our debts paid off before retiring like I’d planned. It makes life harder, but not impossible. We cut expenses to the bone, cut our grocery budget by half, and I only leave the house when I absolutely have to. I combine errands to save on gas. We struggle a little during the months when electricity is high and we eat very little meat these days because it has gotten so expensive, but with a little creativity, we still eat decent meals.
I have a tendency to get down occasionally, something new to me. Some of it is thyroid, some is loneliness and missing my kids and grandkids. But then I kick myself in the butt and get over it. It is what it is. Life is what you make of it, good or bad.
Lorraine Greenbaum answering the question: “When you get older, what becomes important to you?”
I'm 70 years old now. Nearly all my adult life I've been busy — like having ADHD (which I actually do have), it was running here, running there, non-stop from morning till night. I wouldn't even stop to eat — that would be an inconvenience. Never sat down to relax. What's strange is that I'm like a whole different person now. I'm doing things like:
Loving and playing with my grandchildren. I play superheroes make believe, and I don't even feel ridiculous.
Looking forward and enjoying eating delicious foods.
Sitting outside on a nice sunny day, listening to the sound of birds, and gazing at the leaves swaying in the gentle breeze. I'm thinking how wonderful it is that I'm still alive to enjoy things I've never done before.
Always liked reading magazines and an occasional book, but now I read at least 2 books every week. In between, I do crossword puzzles.
I've crocheted Afghans for my grandchildren.
I frequently reminisce about things I've done in the past — and smile to myself. Occasionally, there's a few memories that I could have done without, but they are less intense these days.
No more ironing or alarm clocks.
And, finally, no more racing around. My ADHD is a thing of the past — for the most part!
Rita Draw answering the question: “What is one regret old people have?”
I wish I had known how short life truly is. I always thought I would have more time. To learn, to travel, to just enjoy the day. And then all of a sudden, you start to feel the effects of aging. And not everything is possible anymore. I can’t travel as easily as I once did. I need more help in my garden.
I have a wonderful little granddaughter and appreciate her so much more than I appreciated her father at that age. Every moment is precious. And I am not that old — 68. And I’m relatively healthy. I had back surgery and the recovery has been tough.
So, appreciate your youth, health, family, life. It goes so fast.
I have scores of these. The central point is always the same, though. Life starts speeding up as we age (that’s a mathematical fact, as a day in your life at 5 years old is a much larger fraction of your entire experience than it is at 65, so it perceptually really does go faster). I had the great fortune to interview 3x TED Talk Speaker Dr. Guy Winch. At the end of his talk with me he said, “I’m going to say something terribly trite, because it’s been said 1,000 times. No one ever on their deathbed ever says, ‘If only I had done one more deal. If only I had squeezed in one more pushup.’ It’s all about the experiences, and the relationships. What really made life living.”
So, to the extent I can, I am and have been working on slowing it down. Living in the moment. Gazing up at the stars. I wish you there same kind of stillness.
-Mike
We are our own griefs
We are our own happinesses
We are our own remedies